“After the birth of my first daughter I
ended up having nightmares and on
medication for the depression. The midwives told me I wasn't in labour, and to
shut up because other mothers in the ward were trying to sleep. I went through
12 hours of labour completely by myself with no pain relief, screaming so loud
my lungs were burning. They refused to call my husband or my mother because
they kept telling me I was "imagining it". The one time I screamed so
loud that they finally came into my room and my daughter's head was already out
and my vagina had already torn open. They then added insult to injury by saying
"You silly girl why didn't you call us". I spent the next 3 weeks
soaked in my own blood from the aftermath. ”
“I have survived cancer (twice). I have survived a custody battle for my child with my first husband. I watched my beloved die a slow, undignified death. I have dealt with gynaecological surgery for the damage done to me during my vaginal delivery. Each of things destroyed a part of me. None of them were as bad as my childbirth experience with my one and only child.”
“Fewer and fewer women are having children and I don’t blame them. They have the right to self-preservation and who wants to bring daughters into this world to be treated as badly.”
“These things I know to be true from my vaginal delivery: "It was the most shameful, humiliating experience of my life".
1. Sexual sadists love careers in this field.
2. Sexual sadists aren’t always men.
3. Women who believe motherhood and their children will somehow repay all their sacrifices with any gratitude or respect are setting themselves up for a life of disappointment and pain.
4. Women who want to have children should not do so if they are married or living common law. The law will eat them alive and their lives will be ruined by custody issues and a cruel ex. Better not to let the father know he is a father. It is your only 100% protection.
5. If women are having children to end loneliness or because they need a soul to love and nurture it is best to get a dog or cat instead. There are lots of lonely, unloved mothers and wives out in the world. Your need to love and nurture is that thing that is good about cultures but your culture will not value you for that.
6. You can spend the motherhood part of your life managing a household, loving and protecting your children, handling budgets and finances, negotiating relationships with doctors, teachers, etc. etc. – all those things other people get paid big bucks for – and you will still be considered ‘unskilled’ by employers.
7. The only one you can trust is YOU. Don’t let yourself down.
Signed: Been There; Know That